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'Lessons from the Learning Curve' by Richard Lacey
In this article 30-something assistant pastor Richard Lacey reflects on his first few years in pastoral ministry and the lessons he has learnt.
This January (2007) I will be celebrating the sixth anniversary of the moment I walked away from my job as a secondary school English teacher to become assistant pastor at Kensington Baptist Church, Bristol. Last September my family and I moved to Worcester in response to a call from Woodgreen Evangelical Church to be a co-pastor. As anniversaries tend to do, it has led me to look back and reflect at the steep – and sometimes painful - learning curve that God has taken me through.
Wanted: Superman
Just after starting full-time at Kensington I came across a rather tongue-in-cheek advert which summed up perfectly the pressures I was starting to feel faced with the thousand and one opportunities, expectations and demands that came with the job. While I have the privilege of serving in a church where the priorities of a pastor are generally understood and appreciated, hand on heart, I can honestly say that in the last 6 years I have dabbled in every one of the jobs listed below!
MINISTER WANTED:
A real challenge for the right man. The opportunity to become better acquainted with people – with limitless benefits! Applicant must offer experience and know-how as:
Office Manager, Educator, Artist, Theologian, Circus Clown, Audio Engineer, Computer technician, graphic designer, Interior designer, Politician, Salesman, Diplomat, Writer, Doctor, Structural engineer, Social host, Missionary, Traffic Policeman, Psychologist, Funeral Director, Wedding Consultant, Marriage counselor, Master of Ceremonies, Athlete, Pediatrician, Teenage Specialist.
Must know all about problems associated with birth, schooling, marriage, children, diets, and death. The right man will hold firm views on every subject but will be careful not to upset people who disagree. Must smile habitually, sing softly. Must be forthright, but flexible; return back-biting and gossip with Christian love and instant forgiveness. Should have friendly disposition twenty-four hours a day. Must be a captivating speaker and intent listener. Will spend at least 30 hours per week in the study but remain ever available and adaptable to sudden interruptions.
It’s enough to sap the energy of even the most enthusiastic and energetic young pastor! However, more importantly, I realised early on that this level of expectation was also more than enough to push a conscientious pastor towards burnout, depression, family disintegration and moral compromise. There is countless anecdotal evidence to back this up. I found this a source of huge concern that caused me many months of anguish as I wrestled with the prospect of entering church leadership.
Could I handle the pressure? Would I be able to do all that was asked of me? Could I deal with the criticism and confrontation that I knew came with the territory? But more importantly, if I couldn’t, what would be the consequences for my wife and family? These were the questions that kept me awake at night and distracted during the day (apologies to Class 10C). There are of course ‘super-church-leaders’ around. In his goodness God has given us men who have an enormous capacity for work and the brains to match, but just for the record there’s not many of them around and I’m certainly not one!
I therefore entered pastoral ministry with a conviction not only to preach God’s word and pastor God’s flock, but also find a model of ministry that was sustainable over the long-haul and would enable me to keep first things first. I am well aware that if the church leadership learning curve was compared to scaling Everest (a close analogy) then I haven’t even got my boots laced up yet, but God has been very good in guiding me towards some principles about what it means to be a church leader. So here goes…
A Servant not a Boss
I saw a cartoon recently where an angry boss was pictured shouting at a cowering employee: ‘I’m entitled to boss you around Harris - I’m your boss!’ How radically different was the leadership template that Jesus laid down. Here was a leader who expressed his authority by washing his disciples feet and laying down his life for his followers. Here was a leader whose service was marked by humility, sacrifice and love. I was soon challenged by the high calling of an under-shepherd to follow Jesus’ example by being ‘eager to serve’ rather than lord it over others (1Pet 5:2,3); not bulldozing difficult characters, but ‘gently instructing’ those who oppose (2 Tim 2:25); not seeking to control but rather caring for the flock (Titus 1:7; Acts 20:28); not seeking personal advancement, but the glory of the great shepherd: Jesus (2 Cor 4:5).
A Shepherd not a Battery Farmer
The metaphor most used of the Christian leader in scripture is that of a shepherd rather than a battery farmer - and with good reason! Churches are populated by people rather than professionals. While in the business world things would get done a lot whole quicker than they do in church, I’ve learned that my duty is to care for people rather than build empires.
Investing in people takes time and energy and patience, but most of all it’s about love. This has been one of the key lessons I’ve learned, mainly from the wonderful examples I’ve had from my colleagues on the leadership team at Kensington. Without love, relationships soon become strained. No wonder Paul’s list of leadership characteristics included: hospitality, gentleness and uprightness and excluded those who were quarrelsome, overbearing, or quick-tempered (1 Tim 3:2,3;Tit 1:7,8). I’ve learned that Christ-like leaders motivate others by loving them rather than by threatening them and seek growth over the long-term rather than action in the short-term.
A Tough skin but a tender heart
Dealing with conflicts and criticisms has been a tough one. Not that I’ve served in a church that is overly critical – far from it - but if a pastor is to care for people as he should then he has to have a tender heart and that means that bruises are inevitable.
After a sermon where you’ve given your all, a critical sentence can crush your spirit. The first few times this happened to me it destroyed my day and sapped my joy. My wife gave up counting the number of times I told her that I’d had enough and was going to pack it all in. At such times it was very tempting to put up the blast walls and retreat into an invulnerable shell, but I realised that this was simply not an option if I was to be a faithful shepherd of God’s people. Christ-like leaders must have tender, open, loving hearts, even when that means being hurt by the very people they lead. Comparing himself to a husband whose wife had been unfaithful, God promised his people that despite their disobedience he would send them shepherds ‘after my own heart’ (Jer 3:15). A high calling indeed.
Serving God not men
Of course this covers the faithful exposition of God’s Word, the wise use of time, the discipline of personal devotions, the cultivating of a Christ-like life and the like, but I have discovered that it also involves being disciplined in a number of other areas that are not always understood: a non-negotiable day off each week to recharge my batteries; ring-fenced time with my wife and children which is guarded at all costs; sticking to the ‘pace and space’ principle: pacing myself sensibly and keeping space in my diary and so that I have the strength and time to deal with pastoral emergencies when they occur. And finally - radical one this for us pastors – saying no to things that may be great opportunities, but are not priorities.
Living in the real world not the study
Someone once said that: ‘A leader’s true worth may sometimes be measured by the amount of time he could remain dead in his office without anyone noticing it.’ I wonder how many church leaders wince with me as they read that! While time and toil in the study is vital to maintaining the priority of preaching God’s word, it’s all too easy to lose touch with the real world. I’ve therefore learned the importance of listening to the opinions of my fellow church leaders who work in the secular world; keeping up to date with the latest films; always having a non-Christian novel on the go alongside my commentaries and devotional books; making time for the non-Christian friends we made on our antenatal course; and even watching ‘Home and Away’ with my wife most week days despite the intense loathing I have for soaps!
Modelling not just ‘Ministering’
This has been the biggest challenge for me. Paul was surprisingly frank about his role as one who modelled God’s word as well as taught it. Six times in his letters he urged those he had authority over to ‘imitate me’ or ‘follow my example’ or ‘live according to the pattern we gave you’ (1 Cor 4:16; Phil 3:17; 2 Thess 3:7). While this was always with the caveat that they should follow him ‘as I follow the example of the Lord’ (1 Cor 11:1; 1 Thess 1:6) he was nevertheless one who modelled as well as taught God’s Word. And lest we complain that our pastors are not apostles, Paul also commanded Timothy to ‘set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity’ (1 Tim 4:12), a command reinforced by the author of Hebrews who counselled his readers to consider their leaders lives and ‘imitate their faith’ (Heb 13:7). But what does this mean in practice?
I have come to realise it means that being a godly man, husband or father must have priority over being a ‘successful pastor’. It’s all too easy to try to compete with the overloaded men in my congregation who work horrendously long hours and have less time with their wives and families than they’d like to. Most pastors work as many if not more hours than the men in their congregations. However while I am not called to be lazy, I am also not called to mirror the world’s ungodly and unrealistic work patterns.
Surely as one who has more control over my time than most of the men in my congregation I am called to be one who sets an example by serving God humbly, loving my wife passionately and bringing my children up responsibly. It is not acceptable to use God (or God’s people) as an excuse for being an absent father or a neglectful husband or a workaholic. I am called not simply to preach right priorities, but model them as well. How often are we church leaders guilty of undermining our message by muddled priorities.
Character more than talent
These are tough questions, but ones that I have had to work through these past 6 years as I would guess many of my contemporaries also have. But what does church leadership really boil down to?
I keep in the front of my Bible a quotation from a famous 20th Century American preacher, Clarence McCartney. It’s there to remind me of what it’s really all about, Christlikness:
‘The better the man, the better the preacher. When he kneels by the bed of the dying or when he mounts the pulpit stairs, then every self-denial he has made, every Christian forbearance he has shown, every resistance to sin and temptation, will come back to him to strengthen him - to strengthen his arm and give conviction to his voice. Likewise: every evasion of duty, every indulgence of self, every compromise with evil, every unworthy word or deed, will be at the head of the stairs to meet the minister on Sunday. To take the light from his eyes, the power from his voice, the ring from his blow and the joy from his heart.’
Like I said, I’m still lacing up my boots and looking at the steepness of the incline ahead with a mixture of both excitement and trepidation. I know for sure that God still has plenty more to teach me and I have plenty more stumbles ahead, but what a relief to know that when God sends he also equips and that when he points out the pathway ahead he also promises to walk alongside.
Copyrighted by the author Richard Lacey 2006
Not to be used or reproduced without prior permission
Submitted by Site Builder. 16th January 2007.
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